Science? Or...?

It has been quite a while, but I assure you it's not due to the lack of material. Life's been a little crazy, up and down; a little bit of everything. Anyway, I'll catch you up on one of the latest conversations held in this household.

Me: 'Oh, Undercover Boss, you always make me cry.'

Sandro: 'Why? It's such a genetic show.'

Me: 'How? What are you trying to say?'

Sandro: 'It always has the same stories...'

Wait...Genetic?

Me: 'Do you know what that means?'

Sandro: 'Yeah, genetic.'

Me; 'K, keep saying it but it's still not going to be right.'

Now, I could have been the nice wife and just informed him of the meaning of the word, or told him what word he should have been using; however, I just couldn't. Plain and simple. That just takes all the fun out of it.

Then, a few days pass and a similar conversation begins to brew. While driving home from church...

Me: 'That's a nice neighborhood.'

Sandro: 'Mhmmm. Actually, that's too genetic.'

Me: 'Sandro, that's not the right word!!!'

Sandro: 'What is it??? Genetic!!!'

This continues on into the drive thru at Starbucks and I finally decide to clue him in on the word he was looking for. His face showed sincere confusion as I tried to describe that the appropriate word was 'generic' with an 'r.' I asked him if he even knew what genetic meant, and he responded with "Yeah, like too much of the same. Like a profile. Like all the same." So, I mean, he was almost correct. Just had to switch out the t for an r. The way he kept saying generic over and over again almost made it seem like he had never heard of it before. I'm just glad we got that squared away. Don't want him walking around thinking everything is genetic.

I literally just smile at the thought of all the words he's either mispronounced or misused. Not in a 'haha, he's stupid' way, but in a 'haha, he's so cute' way. I could just pinch his cheeks. The ones from which these words spew, by the way.

Short and Sweet.

My husband is really smart. I promise.

The other night we were watching T.V. I'm fairly positive Jeopardy was what we (I) was watching. All I know is that the question had to do with a famous historical quote. My answer was apparently ridiculous because Sandro's facial expression showed astonishment. Then, he decided that he was going to try and school me. Here is the conversation that followed his ego.

Sandro: (insert some witty comment on his historical knowledge)
Me: "I trump you in English, so don't come up on me in History."
Sandro: " No, you don't." (Nice comeback)
Me: "Yes, the English Language, Honey."
Sandro: "Maybe sonics."
Me: "I'm sorry. Explain to me what sonics is again?"
Sandro: "Phonics."

Win.

Happy Anniversary!

So, for those of you who haven't already been informed...I'll fill you in on our little one year anniversary story.

We decided to spend a few days in Hampton Beach. After our dud of a day on Friday with rain the entire day, we were finally able to spend time at the beach on Saturday (our one year anniversary of being married). The weather was gorgeous, but a tad bit too hot for our water. And no, we weren't smart enough to get bring a cooler with ice to keep them cold. However, the water was legit cold enough to numb your body so well that you could have surgery. So; therefore, the ocean became our cooler.

Sandro took the bottles down to the water and sat there while the waves came in. He was there for quite a few minutes until he returned to our spot with a suspicious grin on his face. I asked him why he was smiling like so, but he continued to make his way back to the water. It literally took me less than a minute to realize what had happened. All I needed to do was look down at his hand. And yup, you guessed it, the ring was not there.

While he was sitting in the water, his fingers must have shrunk due to the freezing temperature of the waves rolling in and out, taking his ring along out to sea. What I love about this story is that he figured he could find it after not realizing it was gone until minutes had passed. After laughing about the matter, and snapping pictures for evidence, I figured I'd get up and help him and maybe somehow we'd find it. Without any luck, he finally states: "Well, at least it lasted a year." And believe me, this is a shock considering he's had quite a few episodes of 'Where did my ring go?' over the year. From leaving it at a restaurant to having our downstairs neighbor find it outside...I'm proud of him for holding onto it for a whole year. TO. THE. DATE.

I promise you he'd lose his head if it weren't attached to his body.


Evidence.

The, 'I told you so' Moments

I don't know how long Sandro has been doing it for, but I do know that I have been telling him not to ever since I found out his secret. Is it me, or is it weird to take your phone in the shower to watch videos about science? I don't mean, in the bathroom, on the counter, or on a shelf...but IN the shower! I mean, come on, you're only in there for about 15-20 minutes. Either way, I've been warning him.

So tonight, instead of heading into the bedroom after his shower, he proceeds into the kitchen. Automatically I know what happened. He is so predictable...plus, I've been warning him. After following him, he turns around with an 'I'm not doing anything' look. And to my surprise, (not) he's placing his phone in a bag of rice.

Me: What are you doing?
Sandro: What? My phone just needs to cool off. It's not even really wet.
Me: So you're putting it in rice for fun?
Sandro: As a precaution.

Hey, I gotta give him credit. At least he didn't try to charge it directly after dropping it into the sink like he did last time. He's come a long way.

It's Summahtime!

One of my favorite things to do with Sandro is go out to eat. We love trying new places and try to steer clear of chain restaurants. About 3? months ago we discovered Chad's Chowder House in Somerset. SO good. I suggest anyone in this area to try it if you haven't already.

Any-who, one day on our way to Chad's (yeah, we're close like that), Sandro starts singing to the tune of Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do." First, I am surprised at some of the songs he DOES know, this being one of them. Second, he decided to put a little twist on the lyrics. Because he was so excited about where we were going to eat, this is what he sang..."All I wanna do is eat some clam chowda, and some clam clakes to go with it." And no, that's not a spelling error. He really said clakes, which made it all the more ridiculous.


Another thing I really enjoy doing with my husband is to just relax. (which we do get to do very often). The other day we took our new puppy to the park. While we were laying there, Sandro turns to me, and out of the blue says, "Wait, what do those daffodiddles turn into?" I kid you not I think I started to drool from the amount of laughter that proceeded this question. Once I was able to compose myself I asked him, "Daffodiddles? Explain to me what they are?" He responds, "What do you mean? They're the flowers we took our engagement pictures with." I, for one, do not remember seeing these flowers at the park we were at that day, and two I do not know why he would think that 'daffodiddles' is a real word.

Here's a lovely picture of Sandro and I and some daffodiddles.

love him.

Told ya.

So, told ya I was bad at this. I know it's not the lack of material that's keeping me from writing. I've been keeping a running note on my phone every time something is said. And a mental note every time something is done. Either way, I couldn't keep this one to myself...

A few days ago, Sandro came home after work and walked in with a smirk on his face. First thing that came out of his mouth, you ask? "You want to know how dumb your husband is?"--That is never a good sign, especially coming from him. My response? "Don't even tell me. I don't want to know." Did this stop him from telling me? Of course not. So on he goes with his story, accompanied with pictures.

As he was on his way home from work, he notices a nice BIG spider hanging above him. Side note: The minute he mentions this and shows me a picture, I immediately cringe and don't want to listen to the rest of the story because I know what's coming next. Or do I? My original thought was, 'Oh no! You got into an accident, didn't you?' Oh no, even better. (Not that that would be a good thing, but you know what I mean.) Anyway, he tells me that he kept an eye on it the entire way home. Once he arrives in the parking lot, I notice that he parks in the first spot. I thought it was slightly strange considering he's been parking in another spot recently, but then I think that he's just going to clean out his car. Well, the real reason was to get rid of this 'friend' that's been bumming a ride off of him for who knows how long. He continues to show me pictures of the creep, and finally gets to the answer to "You want to know how dumb your husband is?"

Well, ladies and gentlemen, here's your answer...

I can honestly tell you that my jaw dropped for a good minute. I can understand wanting to kill a spider. Of all people, I completely understand. But I mean, come on, did you really have to go and crack your windshield? Aaaannnd I just realized you can see remnants. Gag!

Now what have we learned here today? My husband is stronger than yours. 

I'll leave you with this little glimpse into my night. As I sit here on the computer, Sandro is setting up his Fifa game. He then stops in the middle of his sentence about how he's losing his eyesight to sing, "I'll say it loud, I'm Latino and proud." Guess his eyesight isn't as important as being Latino. 

Come again?

So, one thing I absolutely love about my husband (besides his good looks ;-P) is the way he mispronounces the majority of very well known words.

The other night he was cooking dinner (yes I know, be jealous) and he came out from the kitchen to ask me where the 'thongs' were. Now, my initial reaction was to ask him why in the world he would need those, but obviously I knew he meant, 'tongs.'

Just a few minutes ago he called me from Sam's Club to ask me what else to pick up (again, I'm a lucky woman) and asked if I wanted, 'clementines.' However, his rendition of this word was a little more like, 'clemen-teens.' What's even better is the fact that I can get him to repeat it over, and over again, until I'm done laughing.

He is such a good sport.

I'll leave you with one of my all time favorites that almost caused me to spit out my water all over our bedroom. It's been posted on Facebook, but just in case you missed it.

Sandro: "I cut up some of the cuantalope today."
Translation: "I cut up some of the 'how much lope' today."

Love him to pieces.

This picture pretty much sums up my facial reaction to half the things that come out of his pretty little mouth.

Here we go.

Well, a few people have told me that I should blog about my husband. Okay, two people, and one of them was actually my husband. However, everywhere I go, someone tells me how hilarious he is and how much they love my posts about him on Facebook. What can I say? I've found a good one.

Just a little back story here for you, in case you don't already know. My name is Lauren and I'm married to a Brazilian, named Sandro. We have been married for almost 9 months now and never go a day without laughing. Mostly, it's me laughing at him and the things he says, but laughing nonetheless.  He definitely keeps me entertained.

I don't think I could ever tire of his mispronouncing's and lack of common knowledge known to anyone living in the good old USA. Like, for instance, what chicken pox are. Still baffles me.

Now, this blog is in no way to disrespect my husband, or embarrass him (well, maybe just a little on that one). I love him, dearly, and just want to give you a little glimpse into the life of a Brazilian's wife. And besides, this was mainly his idea anyway.

Here's a short video clip of, well, us. Enjoy.