Told ya.

So, told ya I was bad at this. I know it's not the lack of material that's keeping me from writing. I've been keeping a running note on my phone every time something is said. And a mental note every time something is done. Either way, I couldn't keep this one to myself...

A few days ago, Sandro came home after work and walked in with a smirk on his face. First thing that came out of his mouth, you ask? "You want to know how dumb your husband is?"--That is never a good sign, especially coming from him. My response? "Don't even tell me. I don't want to know." Did this stop him from telling me? Of course not. So on he goes with his story, accompanied with pictures.

As he was on his way home from work, he notices a nice BIG spider hanging above him. Side note: The minute he mentions this and shows me a picture, I immediately cringe and don't want to listen to the rest of the story because I know what's coming next. Or do I? My original thought was, 'Oh no! You got into an accident, didn't you?' Oh no, even better. (Not that that would be a good thing, but you know what I mean.) Anyway, he tells me that he kept an eye on it the entire way home. Once he arrives in the parking lot, I notice that he parks in the first spot. I thought it was slightly strange considering he's been parking in another spot recently, but then I think that he's just going to clean out his car. Well, the real reason was to get rid of this 'friend' that's been bumming a ride off of him for who knows how long. He continues to show me pictures of the creep, and finally gets to the answer to "You want to know how dumb your husband is?"

Well, ladies and gentlemen, here's your answer...

I can honestly tell you that my jaw dropped for a good minute. I can understand wanting to kill a spider. Of all people, I completely understand. But I mean, come on, did you really have to go and crack your windshield? Aaaannnd I just realized you can see remnants. Gag!

Now what have we learned here today? My husband is stronger than yours. 

I'll leave you with this little glimpse into my night. As I sit here on the computer, Sandro is setting up his Fifa game. He then stops in the middle of his sentence about how he's losing his eyesight to sing, "I'll say it loud, I'm Latino and proud." Guess his eyesight isn't as important as being Latino. 

Come again?

So, one thing I absolutely love about my husband (besides his good looks ;-P) is the way he mispronounces the majority of very well known words.

The other night he was cooking dinner (yes I know, be jealous) and he came out from the kitchen to ask me where the 'thongs' were. Now, my initial reaction was to ask him why in the world he would need those, but obviously I knew he meant, 'tongs.'

Just a few minutes ago he called me from Sam's Club to ask me what else to pick up (again, I'm a lucky woman) and asked if I wanted, 'clementines.' However, his rendition of this word was a little more like, 'clemen-teens.' What's even better is the fact that I can get him to repeat it over, and over again, until I'm done laughing.

He is such a good sport.

I'll leave you with one of my all time favorites that almost caused me to spit out my water all over our bedroom. It's been posted on Facebook, but just in case you missed it.

Sandro: "I cut up some of the cuantalope today."
Translation: "I cut up some of the 'how much lope' today."

Love him to pieces.

This picture pretty much sums up my facial reaction to half the things that come out of his pretty little mouth.

Here we go.

Well, a few people have told me that I should blog about my husband. Okay, two people, and one of them was actually my husband. However, everywhere I go, someone tells me how hilarious he is and how much they love my posts about him on Facebook. What can I say? I've found a good one.

Just a little back story here for you, in case you don't already know. My name is Lauren and I'm married to a Brazilian, named Sandro. We have been married for almost 9 months now and never go a day without laughing. Mostly, it's me laughing at him and the things he says, but laughing nonetheless.  He definitely keeps me entertained.

I don't think I could ever tire of his mispronouncing's and lack of common knowledge known to anyone living in the good old USA. Like, for instance, what chicken pox are. Still baffles me.

Now, this blog is in no way to disrespect my husband, or embarrass him (well, maybe just a little on that one). I love him, dearly, and just want to give you a little glimpse into the life of a Brazilian's wife. And besides, this was mainly his idea anyway.

Here's a short video clip of, well, us. Enjoy.